Please check the about and the questions page for more information about this site and about what this site, the terms on it, and the experiences it describes are and are not.
However, some people feel that "programming" is a very heavy word, and also sometimes not accurate to what they went through. There's also a lot of debate on what exactly does and doesn't fit under it. While programming can include a lot of things, it's also not intended as an umbrella term. It's also, by all appearances, a term that originated from the abusers to give to what they do, whereas "shaping" is coined by survivors for survivors.
Therefore, the term "shaping" exists to describe not only programming in alternative terms, but also to describe a series of other interrelated experiences that are conceptually akin to programming but are not the same, as well as for situations where the person may not have all the information necessary to know if they were definitely programmed, but they are positive they went through a situation where their system was intentionally affected.
In particular, the words coined on this site are intended to be used by someone to describe experiences they feel they have actually had. If you feel that you want things like shaping to happen to you, there's something to be said for why you would feel that way, but this site isn't really intended to be about or cover that experience, and if you want language to describe it, I'm not going to be the one who makes it.
However, people who can use these terms include people who aren't sure what they experienced, may be describing a memory they know is false but need to describe the contents of the memory, or are in a system and experienced shaping in their timeline or in the innerworld. That's not the same thing as being someone who doesn't feel that shaping has happened to them in the past.
Additionally, I am friendly to systems of all origins, and I want plurals of all origins to be explictly aware that the terms on this site can apply to them if they find them accurate.
* you were programmed but find programming-related language triggering or loaded
* you aren't sure if your experience was programming or something else
* you feel you have experiences in common with programmed people as per the definition of shaping, but it wasn't programming or based on the techniques
* you were programmed or probably programmed, but you're not sure if it "counts"
* you feel there is a lot of misinformation associated with the word "programming" and prefer a different term
* you have been negatively impacted by communities associated with the word "programming" and prefer different language
* you were programmed but dislike that "programming" is, by all appearances, a word invented by abusers for abusers
* you prefer umbrella terms
* you generally use programming language but you use some of the language that this site has that doesn't really exist for programming (e.g. "forcigenic")
* you struggle with self-doubt and self-invalidation regarding your programming and want a word that is easier to accept applies to you
To be clear, none of those are reasons why "programming" is a bad word, but they are valid reasons for someone to prefer shaping language to programming language.
While coining a term or making a flag doesn't automatically equal desire or consent to lead a community, it often does translate to an expectation that others have of you that you do lead a community, or at least be its spokesperson, figurehead, or anything like that.
I don't want to do that. I know the internet is supposedly not anonymous anymore, but I've found I tend to retain anonymity when I seek it. If these terms become associated with my public online identity, it's not the end of the world, but I also don't want it to have to be a big deal. Coining these terms anonymously is part of them not being a big deal.
I will say, though, that I had some help in making this. I won't say who helped me or what they contributed, but I will say that, if you see someone on the public or semi-public internet saying they helped with the site, know the coiner, or are promoting this site/term, but they are not claiming to be the coiner of this term, they are probably not me but instead one of the people who helped me.
Sometimes, the intent in shaping is the intent to do something that would be considered abusive, e.g. sexually abusing somebody while another part of their system is fronting and using their amnesia to get away with it.
Sometimes, abuse is not the intent but it is the outcome, e.g. one system dating another and trying to force their partner into a caretaker role to them and influence them to split a bunch of headmates with such inclinations, even if the desire to harm is not present.
However, shaping always includes either the intent to do something to just one or a few headmates, to the system as a collective as opposed to a singlet that is perceived but doesn't exist, or to someone who isn't a system yet but is meant to become one through abuse. It's like how, even if some forms of abuse can occur on accident, gaslighting is a type with a definition such that it can never be totally accidental.
However, it's also true that some people who have experienced shaping, both of the programming variety and the non-programming variety, may find that their non-programming shaping was, in fact, less intense, severe, impactful, or dysfunction-inducing as their programming was. This may not always be the case, but it can be, and it is valid for traumatized people to express that some trauma impacted them less so than other trauma.
Therefore, while care should be taken not to say "Shaping is a less severe version of programming" or any generalizations like that, a sentence comparing personal experiences like "My programming was much more intense than my other shaping" is fine.
Yes, you can. While I may have some amount of issues with Tumblr being used to originate a term or concept like this, I don't mind Tumblr or other such sites being used to share it.
As for where you can use terms like this as self-identifiers, use those words basically wherever you'd use other personal identifiers for your trauma. Some people talk about their trauma on social media and some don't.
I will say that I don't want "shaping" to be viewed as taboo to talk about in the way that programming often is (even in spaces that tend to destigmatize trauma discussions), and even if you think programming is inherently dangerous to talk about, shaping (especially that which isn't programming) shouldn't be particularly dangerous to talk about from such a perspective, at least no more than disclosing any abuse history can be dangerous.
The broad strokes, however, is that I was abused by an older family member who was almost definitely copying MK Ultra tactics of programming, but he was not a government scientist and was almost definitely working alone. I am therefore someone who has undergone programming, but not in a way that many people say is the only way for "real" programming to happen.
Furthermore, I have also had adverse experiences as a system, mostly online, where people knew I had a system and took advantage of amnesia or different personality types in order to abuse us. Conceptually, this is similar to programming, but not everything that happened really counts as programming, in my view.
However, all of these experiences are abuse. The experiences that were not programming deserve to have language associated with them. The programming and the other experiences have things in common and can be explained in similar terms, even if they are not the same. Therefore, I have coined terms like "shaping" and "plural abuse" to serve as an umbrella term for different types of abuse of systems or where creation of a system is the end goal of the abuse.